3 Dating Myths That Are Sabotaging Your Relationship Success – Part 1 of 3
As a relationship coach, one of the first questions I asked my coachees is: “What do you see as your biggest relationship challenge?”
Of course, it’s easy to talk about all the external reasons why we are not yet enjoying a relationship that we honor. It takes so much courage to recognize the internal reasons, to coin them, to truly face them and then finally, to remove those internal barriers and thus clear the path for the most authentic relationship experience.
Listen to that little voice about what you tend to believe in the dating arena. There may be some myths that you are taking as truths. According to the many stories I’ve heard and coached on, here are the top three myths that I have noticed most in women’s minds:
Myth Top No. 3: “All the good men are taken”
I used to have a mentor who was close to me in the first few years after college graduation. She was my marriage role model; she was kind and generous. Her husband was even more kind and generous than she was. Whenever I hung out with them, I could see how they looked into each other’s eyes and I felt all the appreciation that was flowing in the air. At that time, I was dating a guy who did not support my dreams. When I was comparing him to my mentor’s husband, my conclusion was: okay, all the good men are either taken or gone forever. I was sure that the last good man was the husband of my mentor.
I was desperate. I could not imagine life being lonely forever. Like many women, I truly honor love and marriage. One day, I participated in a wedding at a city hall. While waiting for the ceremony to start, I noticed a message board on the side wall. I flipped through and was curious to see who would be getting married in the next three months. Wow, my goodness! There were technically more than 50 couples getting married in the followed month. In my mind, I trust that women tend to marry guys who are good providers and who are smarter than them in some ways. If all the good men were taken as I’d thought, there would not be anyone getting married anymore, right? Just looking at the numbers had given me faith!
I have a couple good friends who are professional wedding photographers in the States and in Hong Kong. Looking at their social media page, they are always busy on weekends and sometimes even on weekdays. If there were no ‘marriage material’ out there, my photographer friends would quickly be out of business. The reality is, that’s not the case.
Trust me, as you are reading this article, there are eligible men who are single and are looking for ways to find you. I am lucky to have a number of close male friends. They share a lot of the same qualities: kind-hearted, generous, playful and physically attractive. They all happen to be single as of the time of writing this article. What they share with me is that they honor marriage and desire to get married someday. One of them even told me that he has prayed every morning in the hope that today is the day he will meet his Ms. Right. So with all of these men out there – how valid is the statement of “all good men are taken”? You know the answer.
Write to me about what you think about men and relationships. I’d be happy to put a response together to address your unique question.
Always stand by you and for you,