3 Dating Myths That Are Sabotaging Your Relationship Success – Part 3 of 3
My dear college friend, Bebe, never realized how she was filtering potential suitors based on their physical appearance. “Do you notice how you always ask me the same question,” I asked Bebe, “about whether each of my previous boyfriends was handsome or not?” She said No. But clearly she was vetting suitors based on some strict physical standards. She wasn’t interested in men who didn’t meet those standards.
The above example isn’t about whether women should have a mental check list of how their soul mate should be/ look like. I will discuss the ‘check list’ in details in my next e-article. What I suggest is simply that everyone examines their thought processes, especially if looking for your soul mate is your goal.
Myth Top No. 1: “I’m too young/ old/ fat/ thin and so on (you name it!)”
When I was single, I always wished to have a slimmer body so that men would be attracted to me. I was self-conscious about my natural curve and kept mentioning to the dates about how fat I was, and how badly I wanted to improve my appearance. It is not uncommon to hear girls make such comments as a justification for why they are still single today. Too fat or too thin, too young or too old, we give ourselves many reasons why we have yet to meet our right men.
Funny thing was…almost all of these dates were telling me that I looked sexy. Of course, my first reaction was “what are you talking about? I’m fat. Fat is the opposite of sexy.”
“Have you ever wondered how certain types of people, men and women, get married even if they’re at an age or level of attractiveness which we wouldn’t believe could result in them meeting their soul mate? “ my date asked.
Good question. I realized that what is going to attract the right man is not simply how you look or what demographic you’re in. It is more about how feminine you are while you’re with his masculine energy. Have you ever fallen in love with someone who was younger/older/fatter/thinner than you expected? You were attracted to his particular attributes, like his personality, and those tend to last for a lifetime.
In many coaching sessions, I found that without a good relationship with your inner self, you won’t not be able to build a good relationship with the outside world. If you are looking at yourself through a pair of grey-colored glasses, you look grey. If you are looking at yourself through a pair of red-colored glasses, you look red. Why not taking away the colored glasses and just see yourself the way you are? We are so harsh with ourselves, especially in attracting a romantic relationship. I never felt happier after accepting my size-16 hip. Today, it still looks sexy, as many male friends have commented, because I’m confident about it.
If you still don’t believe that you will meet your soul mate just the way you are, I have a few more examples to show you. But I believe you’ve heard my point about age and physical appearance. Don’t let these myths infiltrate your dating principles. What you will need the most is to think positively and have faith that you will meet your soul mate; you don’t have to pretend to be someone you are not.
There are other myths that are hindering your relationship success. Write to me about what you think about men and relationships. I’d be happy to put a response together to address your unique question.
Always stand by you and for you,